Those dreams were crushed in March of 2000 when I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy and Idiopathic Hypersomnolence. Since
then I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia which prevents me from working or being very active. Unfortunately I am forced
to sleep from 12-16 hours daily with no idea when those hours will be spent and no control. And I have lots of pain and nausea.
I suffered through lots of depression because inactive, unproductive and unsocial are NOT my personality. I felt
trapped, like a wild animal in this cage of a body. I think I cried for at least a year, grieving myself as if I had died.
I refused to give up and I searched for any kind of healing I could find. I further exhausted myself trying to force my body
to do things it was unable to do.
When I realized finally that what I needed to do was accept my limitations, I began to relax and minimize my goals. I
wanted a dog so bad I could not stop obsessing about it. I knew I could not handle a dog back then as I barely had three decent
hours awake a day during that time. So I went to the shelter and asked if I could just come out and hold the animals. The
reply was, "Absolutely, you rock!" from my now personal mentor.
I began holding the animals, petting them...my favorites were the most abused, scared, and sick animals. It gave me such
comfort to let them know that someone loved them. The staff never asked me to do anything, but the longer I was there the
more I could not stop myself from doing. Those animals could get me to do things for them that I was not even able to do for
myself! I was able to hold a brush in my hand to help a matted animal when I couldn't hold a brush to my own head because
of the pain.
I still wanted a dog of my own. I was so afraid I would not be able to care for it. So I got a brilliant idea. If I could
have a service dog, that would take enough strain off of me that I could in turn, care for it. Okay, new obsession: learn
to train a service dog...I certainly couldn't afford one.
Reading is difficult (puts me to sleep), but I was able to teach myself slowly how to train a service dog. A little
6 week old puppy that had been left at a roadside park in TX (in a crate) came in one night right at close. There was less
than no room for her so she came home to sleep at my house until they could make a space the next day. This little baby (later
named Star), would not sleep unless she was touching me. She gave sweet kisses with her puppy breath. I set her in a crate
next to my bed and kept my hand stuck through it to touch her all night long so she would sleep. I was exhausted, but I managed
to get her out to potty every couple of hours. I still don't know how I did it.
When she went back to the shelter, she cried at the top of her lungs for the next two days and DID NOT SLEEP! After recovering
from having her the first night, I went back to the shelter. No one had been able to calm her and they had tried everything.
I stepped into her pen and she ran to my shoe and passed out asleep as soon as she touched it. She had picked me. How could
I not adopt her. She was a pit bull and so many rough looking men had been wanting her. I could see she had a strong personality
and they did too. She had 'game". I knew I could not risk someone evil getting her.
I see this is getting long, so I will wrap it up. I began service dog training my dog and taking fosters at the same
time. I have to admit that I got so busy taking in foster animals that her training never got done. I went from fostering
animals to taking in strays of my own and finding them homes (mostly birds and animals that could not survive the shelter
environment). One by one the household grew until I had to find a place big enough to take in more than one dog and cat at
a time.
And I was daydreaming at my desk just recently when I realized, "OMG! I am fulfilling my childhood dreams!"
Just some boring stuff about how this place began.
